Life came and found me...: Toddler

I have to admit, I'm losing my battle with time... I just never seem to have enough of it to do the things I need, let alone the things I want to do, and it's really starting to get to me.

I've always thought that I was pretty organised and not so bad at managing my time but I clearly do not have enough skill. By the time the girls are in bed, my "free time" is either spent running around 'getting things done' or in a semi vegetative state, slouched in the sofa with no energy left to move (or, lets face it, just plain asleep).

Well, I'm trying to be better at deciding what really needs to be done and when, and also trying to get more help with things like cleaning or doing the dishes (dreaming of a dishwasher...). I don't want to spend my weekends cleaning, doing the laundry, sorting through paperwork...I want to be able to get some of that stuff done but also just chill out with T and play with the girls... To be honest, I still manage to do the fun stuff most times, but then there's a certain feeling of desperation when I look around and the house is completely upside down (is this one of those Portuguese expressions that doesn't work in English?, not sure anymore...).

This is the only type of mess I can cope with!

I want to have time to read books (and comics if T has anything to say in the matter), to design and make jewellery, phone friends, write emails and sometimes just be a bit lazy and sleep. I guess that's the other problem: I never seem to get enough sleep and I feel like my brain is just gradually shutting down because it can't cope with my life right now.

So... as part of my new plan to get more of the things I want to do done, I'm going to start dedicating 15 minutes a day to the blog. Let's see if it works and I manage to write more.

Something has to change so that maybe I can start feeling a little bit less overwhelmed by my daily chores, less of a robot that goes through the motions and more of a person that has a life of her own, beyond a house and two children.

I've had a love of baking ever since I was a child but I guess back then I never did much more than just licking the bowl... I still have a little recipe book called: "My First Recipes: Sweet Things" that I got when I was about 9 and I used to love going through it and planning recipes. Sadly, they never turned out quite right... I'll never forget some iced butter biscuits I made once that tasted (and felt) like they were made out of cement!
A few years later, at Uni, I bought my first electric mixer (that I still use!) and slowly but steadily I've been learning to bake a few things here and there. It's all helped by shows like the "Great British Bake Off" (big fan!) and the fact that my husband will eat pretty much anything I bake and has quite a sweet tooth.

N is always quite keen to "help" in the kitchen and so we bake together sometimes. We were very fortunate to have some switch equipment donated to her by the 'Handicapped Childrens Action Group' charity which has helped to get her even more involved. N uses switches to play computer games, operate electronic toys or even turn the electric mixer on and off. They're basically big push buttons that she can press more easily than the buttons on certain toys, computer mouse or even the electric mixer. We have a special mains controller to which the mixer and the switches are plugged and so she uses the yellow switch to turn the mixer on and the red for off. We first used it for her to turn a light on/off, then the Christmas lights, hairdryer, fan... Endless fun when you're a child!

So I wanted to share with you my favourite chocolate cupcake recipe with the help of my lovely baking assistant Miss N. These cupcakes are very soft and fluffy and the contrast of the sweet cake with the slight bitterness of the dark chocolate in the icing is just irresistible!

Look at me being all messy and not getting into trouble for it!

Ingredients:

- 25g of Options Belgian Hot Chocolate powder (I didn't have cocoa the first time I made these and so used my instant hot chocolate powder instead. I loved it so much that I never changed back to cocoa)

- 50 g diced unsalted butter

- 100g caster sugar

- 1 medium egg

- 85g plain flour

- 1/2 tsp bicarbonate of soda

- 1/4 tsp baking powder

And for the icing:

- 50ml double cream

- 50g dark chocolate (60%)

1. Line cupcake tins with paper cupcake cases.

2. Pour 100ml of boiling water over the cocoa in a small bowl and whisk until smooth then leave to cool at room temperature.

3. Cream the butter and the sugar until pale (turn the oven to 180°C)

4. Incorporate the egg, then the dry ingredients and finally the liquid cocoa.

5. Bake the cupcakes for about 15 min and then leave to cool on a cake rack.

6. For the icing, bring the cream to the boil, remove from the hob and add the chocolate so that it will melt into a glossy cream. Drop about a teaspoon of icing on top of each cupcake and enjoy!!

And now, just to recap: