In fact, less than a year after I wrote the post "Career vs. Motherhood" I started working again. It has been a really wonderful thing and reading back on that post, I think I was trying really hard to come to terms with the fact that all those dreams I had in the past about my work in research were just not possible anymore. Luckily, I have truly amazing parents who decided to do what not many people would and instead of living out their retirement in Madeira went completely against the norm and moved to London to help me look after my children. I won't really go into the guilt of feeling like you're robbing your parents of their quiet and relaxed retirement, maybe some other time... But I will say that what convinced me to accept my parent's offer was to realise that actually, as wonderful as a sunny island with delicious food may sound, maybe seeing your grandchildren grow and having a very close relationship with them might bring you more happiness.
With the possibility of my parents moving to London I finally allowed the thought to enter my mind again: maybe I could go back to work... Could I even do it? It had been three years since I had last stepped foot into a lab, would I remember anything? Would I be able to cope with my children's needs and a demanding job?
I was lucky enough find my way back to work amongst friends, people who knew my work from having worked with me before and so at least I didn't feel the pressure to have to prove myself, I just had to be me. At first I felt a bit insecure about things but it's funny how my confidence just came flooding back and there I was, just like I had never left. There was lot to catch up with and for 9 months I worked with a dear friend of mine who helped me immensely and brought me up to speed with things. Then I got another lucky break and got a new job in another lab working on my own project for 2 years and it has been really great.
Science is definitely my thing, the excitement of trying to solve a puzzle, always trying to find clues in things, ways to explain what's going on. There's also a lot wrong with science as a career but I guess that at this point I don't have the jaded/disillusioned view of things that many post docs have after a few years on the job. For me this is my second chance, something that life took from me and now that I have it back I will do my best to hold on to it and make the most of it.
You know what they say: "You don't know what you've got till it's gone..."
As for the much talked about work/life balance, I have to say it's not too bad at the moment. My parents, in particular my mother, have been wonderfully supportive and so I always know that when I'm at work my children are being well looked after by someone who loves them unconditionally. It's also meant that T and I share the "load" of N's appointments and other commitments which has actually brought us even closer and it feels really nice to have that extra support. Not to mention that we can go to the cinema again! (We used to go all the time when we were living in Glasgow, it's kind of our thing...)
Yeah, life has really changed for the better and it feels pretty good.
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| Avó (Grandma) always sends me pictures of my girls to let me know what they're up to ;-) |
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| A is always keen to show off her fashion choices :-D |
